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Job Jail Johnny

Johnny's stuck in a 9-to-5. His spreadsheet says he can leave.

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Two panels. '9 to 5': a gloomy Johnny at his desk at 4:59 thinks 'Why do I do this?' under a storm cloud. 'Payday': a grinning Johnny shovels piles of cash into a giant 'Passive Income Engine' furnace with gauges for dividends, index funds and rentals, saying 'Feed the engine. It feeds me.' — Feed the Engine
The job isn't the dream. The job is the coal. 🔥

More from the cell block

Split panel. Left: a coworker holds an $18 salad, dreaming of a 'Work until 67' sign, and asks 'Leftovers again, Johnny?' Right: a happy Johnny holds $2 leftovers and says 'These taste like retiring at 45,' dreaming of a beach hammock and a 'Retired at 45' sign.

Lunch Break

$18 salad vs. $2 leftovers. One of these is a retirement plan. Which lunch are you? 🥗 vs 🍱

An interviewer with a clipboard asks Johnny, 'So, why do you want to work here?' Johnny flashes a sparkling smile and answers: 'Dental.'

The Honest Interview

At least I'm honest. 🦷

Two panels. 'Age 45': Johnny at his desk with his JJJ mug says 'One more year. Then I'm out.' 'Age 85': an elderly, white-haired Johnny with a walker sits at the same cobweb-covered desk saying the exact same thing.

Age 45 vs. Age 85

Just one more year. I mean it this time. 🕸️

Two panels. 'My FIRE budget': a smiling Johnny checks off housing, food and travel and says 'Early retirement, here I come!' 'Then I priced health insurance': his screen shows $1,400/month in red, his coffee spills, and he gasps '...One more year.'

The FIRE Budget

Every FIRE plan has a boss fight. Mine is health insurance.

Two panels. '10 PM': Johnny reads 'The 5 AM Club' in bed, determined: 'Tomorrow, I become a new man.' '5:00 AM': he slaps the alarm clock showing 5:00 with the book on the floor, still under the covers: 'New man starts tomorrow.'

The 5 AM Club

Became a new man for about 7 hours. ⏰

Two panels. 'Tax Refund Day': Johnny cheers 'Free money!!' amid confetti, holding a phone showing a $1,200 refund. '5 seconds later': he slumps over a calculator thinking 'Wait... that was MY money. I gave the government a 0% loan.'

Tax Refund Day

Nothing says financial freedom like celebrating a loan you gave the IRS at 0%. 🎉

'The 4% Rule Ruins Coffee': Johnny, holding his JJJ mug and a calculator showing $63,875, tells a smiling bearded coworker 'Times 365 times 25. That latte costs you $63,875 of retirement.' The coworker, holding a whipped-cream latte with a $7 tag, replies 'It's just seven bucks, Johnny.'

The 4% Rule Ruins Coffee

Once you learn the 4% rule, you can't unsee it. ☕

Two panels. 'Year 1': a flashy guy in sunglasses rides a 'Meme Stocks' rocket and calls 'Enjoy your boring index fund, Johnny!' as Johnny walks beside a turtle. 'Year 15': the rocket has crashed and the guy sits in a cubicle labeled 'Still working,' while Johnny relaxes in a beach hammock with the turtle in sunglasses: 'Slow and boring got me out of job jail.'

Slow and Boring

Index funds are boring. So is a hammock. That's kind of the point. 🐢

Two panels. 'Sunday Night': Johnny, eyes on fire and fist raised, holds a book called 'Unleash Your Greatness': 'This week I quit, start a business, and run a marathon!' 'Monday': he slumps at his office desk next to a 'Mon' calendar, thinking 'Is it Friday yet?'

Sunday Night

Sunday night me writes checks Monday me can't cash. 🔥

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